Israeli Child-seeking Bombs Discovered!

On January 6th, UN Officials uncovered one of the most devious plots against humanity! As we all saw on television during that time….in all important newscasts, it appeared that only children were targeted in the Israeli war against the Hamas. In fact, Israeli scientists, contracted years ago shortly after the US-Russian cold-war, somehow harnessed the technological ability to aim and successfully target and kill only children under the age of 13!

As the news reported,  a SCHOOL was targeted. Thankfully, there were no children in the school at the time. There was only a coincidental gathering of Hamas insurgents with their weapons and bombs temporarily staying there. They were purportedly enjoying and sharing a peacefull meal of Stouffers Salisbury Steak frozen dinners along with numerous innocent Palastinian residents who had also gone to the school for a Parent-Teacher’s meeting (but were really there hoping not to be killed by the Israeli bombing). Some wondered what the men with all their guns were doing there at the same time….but were calmed when told and assured that the Holiday Inn down the street was full for the night.

As the news has recently clearly shown, this sick, devious Israeli technology was harnessed and ruthlessly unleashed in the recent Israeli attacks against the Hamas people. Children (at least one or two who, sadly, also enjoy Salisbury Steak Dinners) under the age of 13 were mercilessly, sadistically killed in retaliation for the Hamas shooting off a few simple home-made rockets (only a FEW THOUSAND or so) into Israel.

Authors Commentary:

I can’t believe how modern day people could be so horribly cold-hearted. The Israeli’s probably stole millions of dollars from donations to their “Wailing Wall'” in Jerusalem to aid in their research….research which has led to the horrible deaths of hundreds, perhaps thousands of innocent children living in the Gaza strip…especially those who enjoy Stouffers Salisbury Steak Dinners. Meanwhile…the Hamas continue to shoot endless missiles into Israel in protest against this horrible technological advance. “Shoot more missiles”, they have been heard to say chanting in the streets…”and maybe Israel will get the message….that we know about their devious plot to kill our Salisbury Steak-loving children!!!” Some have even been heard to add, mouths frothing— “Continue to kill our children and we will cut your heads off with Starfish Tuna can lids!”.

Let us all hope and pray that the war between Israel and the Hamas never extends to such horrific means!

Yes, of course I am being totally satirical here, and am not at all serious. Clearly, the media, who seem to be biased towards the Hamas, have made the conflict appear horrible, by focusing their cameras on children casualties. But the media have also indicated that the Hamas have been purposely hiding themselves amongst the civilian population, miskenly assuming that the Israeli army would not attack those locations where civilian casualities, like children, are located!?

Meanwhile, yes, innocent civilian children and adults are being killed. The Hamas leadership must have considered such loses as calculated, “Collateral damage”. Such things deemed morally “acceptable” during war. Most likely the Hamas continue to shoot their misiles into Israel…not to further their ideological cause, but to revenge the death of their loved ones. Revenge is a human trait and emotion that is very potent, it can last for years, even centuries, until it is satisfied, and can in the end cause a blurring or even complete forgetfulness of the original purpose.

I “suspect” that Israel and the Hamas both have some revenge issues at play here… 

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