Author: Tim

Bachelor's degree in Sociology, WWU 1990. I started the degree in 1977, did 2 years, then left to become a cop for a few years. Went back to school in 1985 and slowly finished my degree part-time over the next 4 years....hence the 1990 graduation date.

New Year’s Resolutions

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On January the 1st of each year many people make “New Year’s Resolutions”. This tradition dates back 4,000 years to the Babylonians! They made resolutions, or promises, to the gods to win favour. If the resolution was broken it was considered bad luck. More recently, back around 153 B.C. the Romans placed their mythical King “Janus” at the head of their calender, which thanks to Julius Caesar became our modern day calender, with January 1st being the first day of the year.

Janus was the earliest “Two-faced” individual! Well, they said that he had a face on the front of his head and another on the back of it, giving him the ability to see into the the future and into the past simultaneously. On December 31st, the Romans imagined Janus looking back at the old year and forward to the new. They also believed that Janus could forgive transgressions (or wrong-doings), so at the beginning of the new calender year they would give gifts to each other and make promises to one another and to Janus with the belief that he would see this and then bless their life for the entire year. And that, in a nutshell, is how New Year’s Resolutions all began.

I’ve never been one to entertain this tradition. Well, I did as a kid, but gave it up as an adult when I realized that certainly I—and amost everybody else who make resolutions never achieve their goals. In fact recent research shows that only about 12% of the people who make resolutions actually do achieve them. Well, 12 people out of 100 is still 12 people, isn’t it!? So at least some do—and it is that little fact that is motivating me this year to break my decades old pessimistic tradition and go for it! But…I’m only making TWO.

My first resolution for 2010 is to write something in my jounal/blog here on my website EVERY DAY of the year. I recently saw the delightful movie, “Julie and Julia”. Julie made a new Julia Child recipe every day for a year AND blogged about it! A true story! So, if she can do that, I can at least write a little blog/journal entry every day here, right? I don’t even have to cook! So, why not!? Indeed. That’s my first resolution for the year.

My second resolution is a little more personal, and from what I understand quite a common one—that is most commonly broken! Since I was about 22 or 23 years of age I have had the almost nightly habit of having a drink or two… Beer has been my beverage of choice, “IPA” (India Pale Ale) my favourite. If not beer, then wine. Nothing else. I can’t stand hard-liquor. But, after almost 30 years my evening habit has started to sort-of catch up with me. That has led me to the point today of making the resolution that for the next year at least, and perhaps for the rest of my life, I want to drink alcohol ONLY on special occassions, like at party’s, fancy dinners out and that sort of thing, so perhaps only a few times a month at most, and that will be it.

I accomplished my second resolution in September actually, going two weeks without my evening libations, but then was suddenly slammed by my Pulmonary Embolisms (see previous postings). The doctor’s said that my “libations” had nothing to do with my sudden illness…? Anyway, I was a bit worried about all of that for a bit, so delayed my resolve, my resolution till now.

Some who know me might say that I’m quite likely to achieve my first resolution, but un-likely to achieve the second. Well, I’m content to let the skeptical dog’s bark. I know who I am in my own heart. I know what I can or cannot do. Well, TODAY is soon to be over, and I’ve already accomplish BOTH of my New Year’s resolutions! Yes, of course it’s only day 1. But you know, I really believe that there comes a time in a persons life when we finally KNOW what we need to do, and with that “resolve” can come the strength to accomplish it, either single-handedly, or with help if need be. The only absolute prerequisite to the accomplishment of anything in life is first—the willingness to do it, and second—taking the first step. I’ve taken that first step today.

I wish you all a most wonderful New Year.
T.

So far, so good!

TimLeave a comment

On this, Canada’s Thanksgiving day, I have a lot to be thankful for.

Today, Rashin and I went out for a RUN. Well, not exactly a run, but it was a quick walk with four 1-minute jogs in between. I felt great! Ok, a little light-headed afterwards, with a WEE-bit of pain in my chest, but otherwise it was fine. Even I am finding this a bit hard to believe that less than a month ago I was on deaths door-step from multiple clots (AKA Pulmonary Embolism’s) in my lungs.

Well, whatever happened today was good. We will celebrate tomorrow with our Thanksgiving dinner, with dear friends—including my longest and dearest “Friend of all-time”, Dan Fairweather. He attended his own families Thanksgiving dinner today, but was warned before it, that he should control himself and not, “Pig-out like last time”. I suggested that today he temper his pig-like tendencies and save them for tomorrow at my place. He seemed to like that idea. Very good.

In fact, all is “Very-good” today here at my home and with my life, with few exceptions. I am looking forward to welcoming Dan and the rest of our invites for the day tomorrow, celebrating this Thanksgiving. AND, there is one joining us tomorrow someone who we must all be especially thankful to be here, seeing yet another Thanksgiving dinners—our friend “Mitra” who has been battling cancer for the past few years, and thus far winning the war!

So, yes indeed I am very, very thankful this Thanksgiving…for my own health, for my friends health and prosperity and for the Universe blessing all of us with yet another Thanksgiving day to enjoy. I wish YOU, my dear readers, the very same.

Take care.
Tim

Pulmonary Embolism Shmembolism!

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I’m sorry, I haven’t had the energy to write lately. Guess I had a delayed reaction to my illness. Today’s news has added to that. I saw my Family doctor for a follow-up appointment. She has received all of the test results from the hospital. Turns out both of my lungs were completely covered with multiple clots, encompassing the entire surface of both. They have NO IDEA what caused this. Apparently it does happen to some people sort of spontaneously, like mine, without any explanation. The hospital specialists and my family GP are all scratching their heads. When I went into the hosptital, they thought I was a goner! 5 days later I walked out, feeling pretty good, all things considered. Everyone is amazed, including me!

The next step in cases like mine is to continue the search for the cause. Their first suspicion is CANCER. Oh great. In fact, the Ultrasound they did while I was in the hospital did reveal a growth of some sort on my liver…(not related to alcohol consumption) which they THINK is a cyst, which of course is harmless…IF that’s what it turns out to be. I have another Ultrasound scheduled, along with a CT scan, for the near future to take a closer look.

Other than that, each day I feel better and better. My lung capacity feels only slightly impaired. But I certainly can’t move very quickly or exert myself for more than 30 seconds without getting winded. For sure, assuming I don’t have cancer, my recovery will be fairly long-coming, but at least certain.

My birth grand-father (I’m adopted) died at 66 from Colon Cancer. He was first diagnosed at age 42. My birth-mother (his daughter) died at 66 from Pancreatic cancer. So the history is there. I just hope that that is not MY history to be as well!

Anyway, looking at things positively, this experience has certainly helped me to focus on what is important to me. I think my years and years of procrastination are finally over! My sense of urgency has multipied exponentially! So what’s next? First, to be declared cancer-free. I’m holding my breath for that one! Until then? Until then it’s just live each day to the fullest. I’ll do my best to document these travels here, for those of you who care.

Cheers for now.

Pulmonary Embolism Surprise

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A week ago I had no idea what a Pulmonary Embolism is. I also didn’t know until yesterday that I had not just one, but several on both of my lungs. Apparently the smaller ones paled in size comparison to the HUGE one on my left—approx 3″ in diameter—so no one bothered to mention the extra’s. That’s fine. I saved a weeks time of extra fretting about those.

A Pulmonary Embolism is a blood clot situated in ones lung. The clot often starts somewhere in the legs but then all or part of it decides to do some travelling, making it’s way in my case to my lungs where it set up camp, pitched a tent in my veins, blocking them, effectively shutting down 75% of the blood supply to the left side. I don’t know what it did to the right. My doctor couldn’t find the CT Scan image yesterday to show me (she just set up her practice and is not completely organized just yet).

Blood clots that do their vacation travelling can opt for a couple other destination campgrounds. They also enjoy visiting the heart where they like to cause heart attacks. Another popular spot is the brain, where they enjoy causing strokes.

But thank God we live in age where Medical Science can effectively treat these things! The two most common drugs used to treat these little buggers are called “Heparin” (Brand named Coumadin) and “Warfarin”. Technically called “anticoagulants” they thin the blood so that existing clots can’t get any bigger and help to prevent the formation of new clots. Then, it’s up to the body to naturally dissolve the clots over time, which can take months. That’s the route the doctors are taking with me, but for those who have especially life-threatening clots they may elect to administer another more potent drug that instantly dissolves the clot, or they may even do surgery. Both of these procedures come with additional risks and complications, known especially to cause stokes, although in a very small percentage (approx 1%) of cases. I was very lucky, then, to have only needed the initial treatment with Heparin and now with Warfarin, which I will be taking for the next 3 to 6 months.

So thanks to my lung clots, I’m told I also now have “Pulmonary Hypertension” which is is an increase in blood pressure in the artery or veins that supply blood from the heart to the lungs. This causes shortness of breath, dizziness, fainting, and other symptoms, all of which are exacerbated by exertion. There goes my Triathlon training!

So that’s the background of what happened to me last week, landing me in the hospital for 5 wonderful days. I’ll talk about that next time.

Just another Saturday in Vancouver, Iran, and the rest of the WORLD!

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It’s 12:41pm, Saturday August 29th, 2009. Off in the distance a car alarm is sounding. The sun is shining on the Maple tree leaves just outside my window. Fresh (as fresh as city air can be) cool air is wafting through the open window above my desk (bringing city dust in along with it).

My two-day’s-ago-turned-19-year’s-old daughter, with whom I have been texting back and forth this morning, has just arrived in Nanaimo with her friend to do some shopping.

My office is a bit of a mess. I have things to do around the building in which I live and manage. Things I should do, probably, but it’s my day off so I don’t really have to. I’m thinking about that. My sister-in-law is angry with me. My brother doesn’t talk to me. They both think they have good reasons for that. My brother has high blood-pressure. I worry about him. I’m the worlds worst Uncle to his children. My children and his children never did get along, so they aren’t on each others “Facebook” pages as “Friends”. Nor am I, being the worlds worst Uncle.

My dear friend Bill, who is 82 (whose wife recently died), disappeared this week. I thought he was “gone”. Rather, a “goner”; maybe had done himself in. I had terrible images of that. He lives an hour and a half’s drive from here. Had he not finally answered his phone last night around 7, I would have immediately driven out to see if he was there, dead or alive. I cried—tears of relief—without his hearing or anyone else’s seeing (I was at the Pub), when I heard his voice. He called me his “Son” during the conversation, as he excitedly described his visit to a wonderful medical clinic down in Portland, Oregon. They think he should be open to getting married again.

I’m 50 years old. My Mom and Dad’s magic number for me, but I won’t explain why. I feel like a loser, given the sad state of my life and affairs after all these years, although my therapist assures me that I am not, that I have some GOOD REASONS for being a loser! (I mean this facetiously, no disrespect intended) She’s beginning to convince me, thank God.

Someone is watering the plants with a garden hose at the apartment complex next door. It sounds cool and refreshing, even though it isn’t hot here today.

Iran’s political leader, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announced on Friday that he wants the guy’s who ran against him in their so-called Democratic political election, ARRESTED because they incited opposition towards him and the Holy Clerics during the election. Now THAT’s what I call a good incentive for future political leader aspirants to NOT run for public office in Iran!!! I’ll bet you a hundred dollars that Mr. Ahmadinejad is losing votes right now for the next election…!?

The sky is blue right now. I’m hungry.

The Swine Flu (H1N1) has mutated to a more virulent form as feared and predicted, going straight to the lungs, causing severe respiratory failure, requiring those afflicted to be hooked up to respirators. Children, people with Diabetes, Asthma (that includes me), or are Obese are especially at risk. That’s a LOT of people! Hospitals are not equipped to handle that. There simply are not enough respirators to go around. A lot of people are going to die. Not those who have AIDSs, however. For some strange reason people infected with the AIDS virus are resistant…!? What an ironic twist that is.

Everything that I have been writing about today is, put very simply, “What Is”—what is happening right here around me in my home, in my thoughts and around the world. There is a LOT more happening, a lot more of “what is” going on around me, in my thoughts and the world than I have just described, of course. A lot of Philosophy, Eastern philosophy and religions in particular, focus on this concept of “What Is”. If we can simply stay focused on “What Is”, then we won’t be WORRYING about what REALLY IS… what is actually happening around us. Less worry, less stress. Nirvana! Ostrich head stuck in the sand. Truck coming around the corner?! Maybe, maybe not.

I think I will get myself something to eat and then call my friend Bill. After that I will probably do that work around the building that I can’t seem to let-be, let-is, what-have-you!

Cheers and thanks for visiting. If fate landed you here, on the first day of this Blog’s posting here on WordPress….bless you.

Tim

Lost futures…

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A dear friend of mine’s wife is critically ill in hospital right now. She’s 85. My friend is 82. He and his wife has been married just shy of 50 years. We visited with the both of them only 2 weeks ago. Mary seemed tired and said she was suffering from an infection of some sort. A week later, she had a stroke, followed by another shortly after. As of today, she’s in the hospital, dimly hanging on. Bill knows that she’s dying. He’s preparing himself for that.

When Bill and I spoke, he said to me, “You know, Timothy, when I saw her lying there today, I saw almost 50 years of my life about to disappear. I’ve always been able to look forward to the future, but now at my age, the future isn’t there anymore….all that there is now is today.”

Bill is a retired United Church minister, and Real Estate Agent. In an ardent attempt to cheer him up, I said,  “So Bill, perhaps it’s time now to consider yourself a Buddhist!”. He laughed  and then asked why. “Because Buddhists only recognize and live in today, in the present moment. They believe that today is all that there is…so congratulations, you have reached Nirvana! The goal of all Buddhist’s! To achieve pure living in the present moment.”

He quickly changed the subject, but before our chat ended thanked me for helping him to feel a little better about things and ended by saying, “So I guess I’ll have to think like a Buddhist now”. This time we both laughed, and I bid him well.

This story is not about what a great guy I am by cheering up my dear friend. Rather, after our conversation it made me think about how religious or philisophical views can influence our lives. Bill, a lifetime devout Christian, has lived most of his life looking forward to tomorrow. And for good reason; Christians have been “looking forward” to the return of Jesus for 2000 years, living each day in hope of his return.

Can you see how this religious-based forward-looking thinking can transfer over into the rest of a persons daily life? Bill has been living in this way for 82 years. Now, with the prospect of losing his wife after almost 50 of those years, and with a fresh stark realization of his own age and mortality, he feels that he has little, if anything left to look forward to. He’s right of course. Yes, being the devout Christian that he is, he can still look forward to the return of Jesus, and if his wife dies, of joining her in Heaven. But, something tells me that Bill doesn’t really feel that way today.

But this essay is also not meant to be a criticism of Christianity. Instead, I’m merely trying to point out how strongly our attitudes and beliefs can affect the outlook of our lives. If Bill were a Buddhist, would he be feeling any different today? I’m going to say “Yes”, but with a hint of trepidation, because it seems that no matter how strong or “valid” a belief might be, in the end the core, or fundamental reality of the human psyche and spirit will most often push the beliefs away leaving only our basic, instinctual feelings to rule; stuff like in Bill’s case, a fear for his survival and loss of hope for tomorrow. His “Faith” may or may not bring him out of that. “May or may not”. Therein lies the true reality, the “Isness” of Bill’s life today and, I suspect, most of the human race, living faintly day by day in this thing that we call “Life”. Indeed, this is it.

The Irony of Life

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There was a very beautiful blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, ‘If I could only see all the world, I will marry you!!!’

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her, “Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?”. The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked and, although would never admit to another, repulsed her—she hadn’t expected that. The thought of looking at him for the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him…and secretly in her heart she knew there must be someone “better”.

Her boyfriend left in tears….and a few weeks later wrote a note to her saying: “Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.”

This is how the human brain often works when our status in life changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

As for this “One Man”…I remember and am very grateful for those who remain beside me. Thank you all…may God bless you.

Israeli Child-seeking Bombs Discovered!

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On January 6th, UN Officials uncovered one of the most devious plots against humanity! As we all saw on television during that time….in all important newscasts, it appeared that only children were targeted in the Israeli war against the Hamas. In fact, Israeli scientists, contracted years ago shortly after the US-Russian cold-war, somehow harnessed the technological ability to aim and successfully target and kill only children under the age of 13!

As the news reported,  a SCHOOL was targeted. Thankfully, there were no children in the school at the time. There was only a coincidental gathering of Hamas insurgents with their weapons and bombs temporarily staying there. They were purportedly enjoying and sharing a peacefull meal of Stouffers Salisbury Steak frozen dinners along with numerous innocent Palastinian residents who had also gone to the school for a Parent-Teacher’s meeting (but were really there hoping not to be killed by the Israeli bombing). Some wondered what the men with all their guns were doing there at the same time….but were calmed when told and assured that the Holiday Inn down the street was full for the night.

As the news has recently clearly shown, this sick, devious Israeli technology was harnessed and ruthlessly unleashed in the recent Israeli attacks against the Hamas people. Children (at least one or two who, sadly, also enjoy Salisbury Steak Dinners) under the age of 13 were mercilessly, sadistically killed in retaliation for the Hamas shooting off a few simple home-made rockets (only a FEW THOUSAND or so) into Israel.

Authors Commentary:

I can’t believe how modern day people could be so horribly cold-hearted. The Israeli’s probably stole millions of dollars from donations to their “Wailing Wall'” in Jerusalem to aid in their research….research which has led to the horrible deaths of hundreds, perhaps thousands of innocent children living in the Gaza strip…especially those who enjoy Stouffers Salisbury Steak Dinners. Meanwhile…the Hamas continue to shoot endless missiles into Israel in protest against this horrible technological advance. “Shoot more missiles”, they have been heard to say chanting in the streets…”and maybe Israel will get the message….that we know about their devious plot to kill our Salisbury Steak-loving children!!!” Some have even been heard to add, mouths frothing— “Continue to kill our children and we will cut your heads off with Starfish Tuna can lids!”.

Let us all hope and pray that the war between Israel and the Hamas never extends to such horrific means!

Yes, of course I am being totally satirical here, and am not at all serious. Clearly, the media, who seem to be biased towards the Hamas, have made the conflict appear horrible, by focusing their cameras on children casualties. But the media have also indicated that the Hamas have been purposely hiding themselves amongst the civilian population, miskenly assuming that the Israeli army would not attack those locations where civilian casualities, like children, are located!?

Meanwhile, yes, innocent civilian children and adults are being killed. The Hamas leadership must have considered such loses as calculated, “Collateral damage”. Such things deemed morally “acceptable” during war. Most likely the Hamas continue to shoot their misiles into Israel…not to further their ideological cause, but to revenge the death of their loved ones. Revenge is a human trait and emotion that is very potent, it can last for years, even centuries, until it is satisfied, and can in the end cause a blurring or even complete forgetfulness of the original purpose.

I “suspect” that Israel and the Hamas both have some revenge issues at play here…